Are You Cultivating Joy or Something Else?
“Inspiration from a Woman’s Soul: Cultivating Joy” is being published and launched today! It’s a beautiful, powerful & insightful book written by 38 real women (including me!) who are sharing our stories in the pages of this book www.CultivatingJoyBook.com.
Being part of this project was a God-send for me and one of the synchronistic and magical ways the Universe works. I had no idea that I WAS NOT Cultivating Joy in my life. It seems silly and unbelievable to say that now, but I truly did not realize how much cultivating, creating & making JOY in your life is a conscious choice and daily commitment. As much as I had already learned about myself, and life, over the last 10 years, somehow this most important, seemingly obvious element escaped my notice, has it escaped yours too?
Unintentionally, unconsciously, unwittingly, and automatically I took for granted that everything I was working toward creating in my life would inevitably BRING ME the JOY I was seeking. I didn’t knowingly BELIEVE that but that BELIEF lived and operated consistently in my subconscious so it influenced EVERYTHING in my life (thoughts, words, actions, etc.) without my knowledge or consent. I was fooled into “thinking” I was cultivating joy as I strove to live up to and in to my potential but secretly I KNEW I wouldn’t or couldn’t be truly happy, satisfied or joyful UNTIL I’d reached my potential, achieved my goals or lived my best life. I was totally focused on creating my life and the all elements of it, but I was not focused intentionally on creating and experiencing JOY. So I experienced moments of JOY, but it wasn’t an everyday occurrence or a natural state of being, it was sporadic and conditional based on what was happening and how well things were going. When I struggled to “realize my potential”, create the life, achieve the goals, or have the success I wanted, I assumed that meant I needed to be more intentional and focused on what I wanted so I’d be happy. It never occurred to me that if I simply FOCUSED ON CREATING JOY – I WOULD BE HAPPY!
Despite having a working understanding of the fact that you have Choose Joy and Cultivate Joy in your life I was still on autopilot with the biggest part of me plodding along thinking that once I’d accomplished my goals, brought my dreams and vision to life I’d be truly able to experience the kind of joy that I imagined came with that level of accomplishment. With all of the personal discoveries and epiphanies I’ve experienced over the last 10 years, I am stunned that it took me so long to truly experience this one simple thing.
I’m so grateful for this revelation! I am so grateful for this experience and all the experiences that lead me to finally and deeply understanding this most basic tenet of living a happy and fulfilled life! Just making this one shift in my life has opened up so much: a closer bond with my son, a huge shift in his behavior (for the better!), more completely ideal clients and MUCH MORE INCOME.
Now I ask you, take a moment to sit down and check-in with yourself. Are you feeling JOY daily? Do you live a JOYFUL life? Is your life mostly JOYFUL dotted occasionally with “pain in the pooper” moments? Or does life seem like a pain in the ass with occasional moments of JOY?
If you’re reading this and you’re inwardly rolling your eyes like, “yeah, yeah, I cultivate joy, that’s not my problem. My problem is I don’t have the life I want yet.” Then I’m telling you, (from personal experience!) you may get the CONCEPT of cultivating Joy but you’re not LIVING it. If you were living it, you would feel it, and it would feel good, – all the time – and your life WOULD BE the life you want and everything that comes with it.
Use the POWERFUL experiences and stories in the book, “Inspiration from a Woman’s Soul: Cultivating Joy”, to get you started. Every story in the book was written by a woman who, at some point in her life, “thought she knew” what it meant to cultivate joy and she shares her experience “living it” here.
What Happens When You Give a Procrastinator a Good Idea?
What Is Procrastination?
Dictionary says: putting off or delaying something requiring immediate attention. I define it as: a lack of action; putting off something you want, need, and/or believe you should do.
Why Do You Do It?
Because the “IT” you’re procrastinating about is threatening to take you out of your comfort zone – usually in one of these ways:
• You Don’t Know Exactly HOW To Do It
• YOU’RE Afraid You’re Going To Fail (Make a Mistake, Look or Feel Foolish)
• You Believe You Have To Do Something Else First.
I love this one! It’s when you think you have to complete x, y, & z, but there’s a reason why you can’t do x, y or z right now and it sounds totally legitimate. So you wait until you can do x, y, z or wait until someone else can do it for you, and then you’ll be able to finally do “IT”.
• You’re Not Inspired To Do “IT”.
This is when you’re planning to do something b/c you think you “should” do it. It’s part of a plan, system or program that you believe will help you achieve your goal(s). But you have no interest in doing it, it doesn’t motivate or inspire you and you have no emotional connection to it.
Not Your Conventional Solution
Conventional, traditional methods to stop procrastination don’t work for everyone. They have never worked for me. Have they worked for you?
“Just Do It”, “Eat the Frog” – while these techniques & philosophies work for some people –- they don’t work for everyone. There’s a huge gap between knowing what to do – and actually doing it. They’re not the same thing.
And while I’m a huge proponent of prioritizing, goal setting and breaking up projects into smaller bite-sized tasks, those strategies still don’t actually get anyone to pull the trigger. When there’s a stronger pull for you to put “IT” off & do anything else – sit on the couch, watch movies, play hooky – you need more powerful weapons in your arsenal beside, “just do it”, “push through”, “this is a priority”.
One of the most debilitating things procrastination does to you is that makes you beat yourself up. Makes you feel like you’re weak – lacking discipline and will power. When that’s not what’s really going on.
These conventional, traditional solutions to the procrastination conundrum all require you to expend a ridiculous amount of effort and energy without really understanding what’s CAUSING THE PROBLEM. They all address the symptoms and make you feel bad about yourself in the process. I may be out here on this limb – all alone – but I need something more than motivation and inspiration to pull me toward the action I know I need to take. Pushing me toward it is only going to make me resist and feel bad about myself for doing it.
Because here’s the thing, taking action, “just doing it” can be really easy -even effortless – WHEN YOUR GOALS, plan, action items ARE ALIGNED with your INTERNAL OPERATING SYSTEM. But when they’re not, you feel hesitation, resistance, fear, anxiety – you have thoughts of failing, worry you’re going to screw it up, doubt yourself, listen to the fears that say you don’t know how to do it/can’t do it, etc. – so you naturally put it off! Your procrastination is a sign that your Internal Operating System does not match your goals, plan, vision. That’s it.
How Do You STOP Procrastinating?
You’ve got to address your Internal Operating System. The best way to get the results is to go straight to your wiring. Stop insulting your willpower & discipline, it’s not their fault & it’s not yours either.
There are a few different “programs” that your Internal Operating System (subconscious mind) runs to help you save time and make decisions more quickly. They’ve become such a natural part of the way you see the world that you don’t even realize these “programs” are running. But they are running. And they are running your life.
Here are 3 strategies you can implement immediately that will help you address these “programs”:
1. Set Realistic Goals That Stretch You – Your goals need to be a stretch to move you beyond your comfort zone (because that’s where the magic happens), but setting ones that are too ambitious or unrealistic actually set your mind up to believe that you’re failing (which is extremely DE-motivating). This is a pattern that very driven, passionate, purpose-oriented people fall into and it what’s keeps them STUCK.
2. Focus On Your Unique Brilliance – Do what gets you excited, makes you feel inspired & enthusiastic. The etymology of the word INSPIRE means ‘immediate influence of God’. ENTHUSIASM comes from ‘entheos’ – “divinely inspired, possessed by a god”. God whispers to you through your emotions and when you get excited and inspired by it, it’s because it’s what you’re here for. So fill your life with that stuff! That’s what BLISS is. Just because someone successful has a formula that includes “x, y, z” doesn’t mean it will work for you. This “x, y, z” may have been their Unique Brilliance, but if it’s not yours, it won’t work for you, especially if you’re not excited or inspired by it. Find your Unique Brilliance and engage in them, because you have a built in joy factor with the things/people/places/activities/etc. that INSPIRE YOU, you’ll be more likely to take action, less likely to procrastinate.
3. Acknowledge Your Progress. – This is not just a platitude. This is some of the most sage advice you will ever read and I do not say that lightly. There is a very strong “program” that runs through your Internal Operating System that addresses how you look at your accomplishments. I have always been very critical of myself, and if I’m honest, I’m critical of others too. I set very high goals and hold myself to a higher standard to achieve them. I have “always been this way.” I tend to discount anything that is short of what my goals are. I don’t recognize progress. This may sound familiar to you b/c there are a lot of us out there! Believe it or not, by constantly holding myself to a higher standard and always recognizing where and how I’m missing the mark, I fail to give myself credit for the progress I’m making. That credit, as it happens, is CRITICAL to building the momentum and motivation I need to keep on moving forward. So instead of using the momentum to fuel more progress and forward motion, I’d have to stop and take a few minutes to calm myself down from not achieving my goal. I was starving myself of this fuel b/c that was the way I was wired. I’ve always heard this advice, but never understood how important it is or why. Now you’ve heard it. You’re welcome.
As with anything in life, the more you invest in yourself with your time, energy and money, the more you commit to it. I’ve done a lot of work in this area in my own life b/c honestly it’s kept me from attaining the level of success I know is possible for me. So I’ve been checking out my Internal Operating Systems and making changes to the programs that are not serving me. I’ve had such an amazing experience with this that it INSPIRED me to put it together & share it with others who are wired like I was.
If this resonates with you and you’d like learn more about REWIRING your Internal Operating Systems to align with your GOALS, PLANS & VISION, I’d love to make it easier for you, so you can be more effective and impactful so you can get more done and stop sh*tting on yourself for not doing more.
Here’s the link to learn more and register: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/the-procrastination-solution-tickets-16048354059
If this speaks to you, I’d love to hear from you. What are you procrastinating on? What have you done to overcome it? Have you been successful? What/who else suffers when you procrastinate? How has procrastination impacted your life, your business, your relationships?
Here’s the link to learn more and register: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/the-procrastination-solution-tickets-16048354059
Stay tuned for my next blog where I’ll be doing a “Case Study” on someone you know. Sharing the challenges and disappointments that Procrastination caused.
Big Hugs and a Big ROAR!!!!
Weathering the Storms In Your Business – Are You Prepared?
For the past few weeks New England has withstood several feet of crippling snowfall from so many different storms we’ve stopped counting. Instead of measuring inches, we’re measuring feet and instead of predicting snow totals one exhausted forecaster predicted it would be “plow-able”. Conversations centered around Snow-maggedon and the Snow-pocalypse, speculation about its end and the hope of seeing blue sky and green grass.
In business as in winter, storms happen, but with anticipation, preparation and communication, a potential disaster can be transformed into a temporary inconvenience.
Maintaining inner strength is critical to the survival of your business.
In storms of this magnitude buildings collapse, budgets are overextended, tensions run high, systems break down, and revenue is lost. Maintaining inner strength is critical to the survival of your business.
Whatever crisis or “storm” your business is facing externally (weather-related, economy-driven, financial, etc.) it’s always the internal crisis that poses the biggest threat. When your business is your “baby” it’s a constant challenge not to internalize everything.
Your Thoughts Create Your Reality
The self-induced thoughts of fear, doubt and criticism are crippling. Your thoughts are the forefathers of your actions and decisions – YOUR THOUGHTS CREATE YOUR REALITY. So any battle that you fight with your own mind is much more challenging, frightening and REAL than anything you’ll face outside. When your bank account is empty and the creditors are at the door it’s real, and it’s scary. The most powerful tools you have at your disposal are your mind and your mindset. If you choose to feed your fear it will grow; if you choose to feed your belief in yourself that will grow too.
Opportunities & Miracles Are Only As Far Away As You Believe Them To Be
Big opportunities and financial miracles are always only as far away as you believe them to be. I’m not talking about sitting and hoping for magic to happen. I am talking about being the quarterback of your business and throwing a Hail Mary pass in the final seconds of a game. You with a clear vision, passion, desire, experience and well-conditioned emotional muscles creating an opportunity that can turn things around in an instant. Hail Mary passes are dramatic, they require faith, talent, trust and experience to pull off. And oh how glorious they are to watch! When the ball lands in the receiver’s hands you catch your breath and then scream at the top of your lungs. You know the talent was there all the time, but it’s the faith and trust required to take the chance that makes all the difference. It’s the intestinal fortitude required to stay focused amid the fear, the obstacles, and the drama that created the magic.
Here are 3 keys to weathering any storm in your business (and your life!):
1. Believe And Trust In Yourself
When you believe in yourself you can get through anything without letting other people’s opinions, comments or judgments infiltrate your belief in who you are and what you are capable of. One client I worked with was a “people-pleaser” regularly bullied by coworkers, up-levels & family. She knew she had something to offer, she was passionate about the business she joined and the products they sold, but she was constantly being told that she couldn’t make it. Her internal dialog made her a victim. We worked together to strengthen her emotional muscles, her ROAR Muscles™. She learned to trust her instincts and believe in her self; to validate and accept herself. Her confidence grew immensely with a shift in her mindset from bullied victim to peaceful warrior. The bullying stopped and she enjoyed being actively recruited by a number of successful multi-level marketing professionals who loved her energy and personality.
2. Stay Focused On Your Vision, What You Want To Create – What’s Important To You.
Remember your “why”, what’s important to you? Why did you start your business, what motivated and inspired you? Keep whatever or whomever lit that spark close to your heart, so you can remain inspired and motivated to continue moving forward. In the first few years of my business I experienced a lot of “dark nights of the soul”, money fears that were so intense I felt like my intestines were twisted like balloon animals at a kid’s birthday party. But I kept remembering the young woman I had been, the one who thought she’d always be ALONE, and I knew I had to find the strength to stand up for her and all the other women out there who felt like I had.
3. Build Your Strength from the Inside Out
Build your strength from the inside out so you can manage the emotions inside and the challenges outside – especially in times of crisis. A strong foundation allows you to stand tall, it’s true for buildings and it’s true for people. Strong core emotional muscles – ROAR Muscles™ gives you a strong foundation, the fortitude to persevere, the clarity and determination to stay focused on your vision, the peace of mind and calm to work through your emotions and the ability to execute even in the chaos of a crisis so you can move forward.
To learn more about YOUR ROAR Muscles™ and the tools and strategies you can use to keep you calm, strong and confident in any storm, go here to test the strength of your ROAR Muscles™ and here to access a powerful crisis management tool.
This blog post is part two of a three part series on Weathering the Storms in your Business. Yesterday’s post by Minette Riordon. Tomorrow’s post by Sandra Larkin will share her expert take on managing communications during a disaster. Come back here for the direct links to more great insights into how to anticipate, prepare and communicate any business challenges.
Athletes know working with the best coaches and teammates is a winning strategy. Entrepreneurs choose to play the game by their own rules and define winning on their own terms. For business owners, these three things make a winning season in the big leagues of business: the Inner Game, the Game Plan, and Team Building.
• The Inner Game is about understanding your true purpose and living your full potential in order to build a business that works for you. Casey Kerr – Find Your ROAR will help you find out how to unleash your talents by FREEING YOU from the emotional “head trash” that’s slowing you down and stopping you.
• The Game Plan is about creating a high-scoring strategy to shape smarter entrepreneurial strategies and turn your passions into profits. Minette Riordan will help you create an action plan tailor-made for your life and your business(read Minette’s post here).
• Team Building is about attracting people who will invest in your success: partners, employees, and a fan base of wildly enthusiastic customers. Sandra Larkin, the Metaphor Maven will develop inspired branding and marketing to show them who you are, what you do, and why you’re the best (read Sandra’s post here).
When you listen to successful athletes at the top of their game – in any sport – the rituals, habits and practices they attribute to their success goes far beyond how they condition, train & strengthen their bodies. The most successful athletes devote time and energy to their Inner Game. They recognize that what goes on in their heads, hearts and souls is even more important than the way they prepare their bodies for the challenges they face. The same is true for entrepreneurs.
Strategic and marketing plans are critical for the success of any business. But often even when you know EXACTLY what you have to do, you find yourself putting it off, getting distracted, and doing other things. Sometimes you know exactly what you want to say (introducing your services, answering a question, saying NO) but in the moment you lose the words. You open your mouth but your voice isn’t cooperating and the opportunity feels lost. Then you beat yourself up for the next hour over it.
Even with the most flawless plans, if you lack the emotional core muscles, the ROAR Muscles that sustain, drive and fuel you, you may feel like you’re just spinning your wheels, working hard, but not getting any real traction. Your products and/or services are essentially the gifts, talents and experience you have to share. In order to reach the level of success you desire, you have to be able to communicate it how effective, amazing and unique your offerings are, show your value, speak up for yourself, take consistent action, get out of your comfort zone, challenge yourself and face your fears. Having the ability to do shine from the inside out gives more power and strength to everything you do and magnetizes your ideal clients to you and your business.
Test the strength of your ROAR Muscles right here: http://findyourroar.com/diagnostic/
Learn more about it right here:
This week I want to talk about something that I continue to struggle with and I know you may have the same problem.
I have invested in my business by joining a business development program. The founder of the program is a hugely successful, very well known business coach, marketing and mindset expert.
The program is extremely well organized including detailed templates and checklists on how to set up your business, your systems and especially your marketing.
Everything follows a sequence and has a place, it all lines up beautifully and it’s repeatable.
So all summer I worked my butt off implementing one new thing after another. Some things I really wanted to implement, but there were a lot of moving parts and I kept running into technology glitches. (my Kryptonite). So I held off. and I held off and I held off.
There was a program I really wanted to implement, but I had myself convinced based on what I was learning that I needed to have certain things in place. And not only could I not get all the pieces in place, the ones I had began falling apart.
Yesterday I had a HUGE BREAKTHROUGH and it all started with a fight…
Watch the video to hear more.
Despite how much fun I had on my vacation, by the end of the week I realized I was still really uptight. I hadn’t been able to really relax and let go. On Saturday I tapped into my Guides to ask them what I should do, what I should focus on for the week ahead and I didn’t hear anything but I saw a word flash in front of me RELAX. So on Sunday I finally listened and sat outside in the sunshine to read a book (just for pure pleasure!). I was unwinding. It was glorious (not a word I use often without mocking tones, but it’s perfect here).
By Monday I’d made a decision to incorporate this relaxation into my business. So when I felt like taking a break I did. When I couldn’t put my (second) book down, I didn’t. Tuesday went the same way and a strange thing happened ….
If you’ve been following me for the last couple of months you know that there are major shifts going on with me (and with a lot of other people too, things are changing!). I’ve been so focused on creating all of this material, new programs, products and offerings that I didn’t realize how much pressure I was putting on myself. Pressure to get it all done, pressure to get it all right, pressure to be perfect. I’m always my own worst critic and enemy, aren’t you? I started feeling like if I wasn’t continually moving forward at a rapid pace with success after success that I was totally failing. Have you ever felt like that?
Click play on the video to Hear More…
Have you ever tried to access the Law of Attraction but feel like you’ve missed the boat? I literally have the KEY, I’ve found the Missing Link to Activating the Law of Attraction (in a good way!). I’m telling you all about in this video.
If you’ve had this problem too, watch my video for more about the Missing Link to Activating the Law of Attraction.
Watch the video here: